First Post

G'day all,

Welcome to my travel blog. The reason i'm keeping a blog is that i want to get photos and amazing stories out about the Drive After Five. I hope you believe that... I swear it's not because I'm too lazy to email everyone, and too retarded to remember to email everyone.

Hopefully i'll be updating on a regular basis, which sounds promising when you're sitting at home in Australia, however when I'm out on the road, causing havoc (as is to be expected on the DA5) I can't promise anything. So prepare to be disappointed, and hope to be thrilled. When you get the average of the two (consistent mediocrity) you'll probably understand what i'm aiming to achieve.

For those who aren't in the know I'll give you a list of the fellow "characters" that are coming on the DA5, and later I'll show where we plan to be arrested each day.

Kiernan Dorney:
Role on DA5: MiC of surly behaviour.
Super Power: Consistent Silence, and extreme sarcasm.

Kiernan's main job on this trip is to make us all look more manly... By wearing what he normally does (his mum's clothes from the 70s, super tight UCLA tops). After spending the year in the US, it will be his job to show us the way on the West Coast. I can't wait for his tips on eating the best Tacos. And no, that wasn't a euphemism.

Liam Erby:
Role on DA5: Hardest man on the trip.
Super Power: Dropping the C Bomb at a moments notice, tough stickers and common sense.

Liam not only looks like a hard man, but sounds and smells like a tough man. His man musk will kill a deer from 30ft, no foolin. Liam is the man who makes all our retarded schemes come to life, as he actually has useful skills that apply to the real world. Handy with the tools, and experienced at maneuvering big vehicles (and I wasn't just talking about the wagon he is dragin') he is the one that will keep us alive in the US.

Mathew Freeman
Role on DA5: MiC of Finance
Super Powers: Closing cases, using his Blackberry, getting a sweet pump, wearing tight T shirts.

Matt is one of the beautiful people- amazing arms, tight t shirts showing off the rippling body, 8 pack and more, he is more than just a pretty face however. As a member of the cut throat financial world (and therefore, addicted to Charlie by association) Matt is a Financial juggernaut, and will keep us from all blowing our cash in Vegas. Which may still happen, but at least we can blame Matt.

James "Mac" Shine
Role on DA5: Murse
Super Powers: Forcing others to like his music, best beard on the trip, giving everyone else his allergies.

Mac, as a recently approved doctor, will be looking after our physical wellbeing on the trip. Although the rest of us are unsure of why we need daily DREs, and why he does them with his tongue, we're grateful for his tender care. Voted* most likely to shoot someone, his perchance for guns has us all terrified. The only chance all of us come back with all our limbs is if Mac loses both trigger fingers in a freak accident sometime soon. Mac is a huge proponent of Naked Tuesdays, and the creator of the famed (and much maligned, although vital) Dump Tickets. A driving force behind the DA5, and huge football fan, he is already stretching so as to be able to have sex with the entire Penn State Football team. At one time.

Greg Wernecke
Role on DA5: Surgeon, Master Hunter, Diplomat from Canadia.
Super Powers: Steady hands, disapproving gaze, ability to destroy bottles of scotch with only his mind. And mouth.

Greg has been preparing for the DA5 with a sabbatical to his native country of Canadia. His love for Loonies and Toonies has been well documented elsewhere. If anyone tears a ligament, or has to have a slug removed (if you shoot me Mac i'm going to ringlet you into oblivion), Greg will be the first in line to be inside us. In a medical way, not in the Dorney way. Greg's other skill on the DA5 is his innate ability to be the identical twin of Jeff Garcia. Hopefully, bouncers will be enamored by his tales of scrambling, erratic throwing, and "smelling like a rat" and will let us into the VIP area. Greg is a vital cog in the DA5 as he is a stone cold killer: if there are any deer that need to be shot (and I assume there will be), ol' Wernesize will be the one to take them down.

That concludes the brief wrap up of the zany characters that will keep getting me out of trouble/keeping me in trouble (delete as applicable)

SO, bookmark this page, and check back every so often, as I'll try and get photos, stories, and maybe even a guest writer on board. You can leave comments after each post, but remember my Mum will be reading these (hey Ma!) so keep them clean.

xoxo

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* Vote may or may not have actually occurred.